Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Wednesday Weekly Wedding Update | Addressing & Wedding Candy

Hello out there, Coffee Readers!

This week, not too much is happening wedding-wise, but I did receive my corrected Save the Dates in the mail (if you don't remember, I accidentally printed our wedding date in May 2012...oops).  Since then, I've created a separate insert to accompany the photo with a bit more detailed information about our wedding.  I made sure to let the guests know about our wedding website, and the location since it is about an hours drive from where we are from.

Filling, Addressing, and Stamping Envelopes!

As many of you know, I lived in China for a bit around one year ago.  Consequently, I made many good friends there, all of whom I know will not be able to attend the wedding (since...y'know, flights are around $1,500).  I also have friends in many other countries through friendships I've made with international and exchange students during my time at OU.  Many of these people I will forever hold dear in my heart, and so I want to invite them to the wedding, however...I do not want anyone to feel obligated, or like they are letting me down by not coming.  This is why I am so grateful for a Chinese tradition I learned about when I studied abroad.
I snagged a picture of my roommate's wedding candy from her cousin's wedding.
Wedding Candy.
I could not find any internet articles to help explain this cultural trend, or to cite for credibility, so I will just explain the best I can.

For Chinese weddings, the couple gives out a favor with different sorts of candy in it.  As engagements are not really a big thing in China, couples usually transition from dating, to talking about marriage, to marriage.  So during this period before their wedding, they will give out these candy favors.  From what I understand, those who will be attending the wedding as well as those who cannot come will both get these favors, contrary to our tradition where you grab a favor at the end of the wedding reception if you attended.

My roommate (who is Chinese) helped me understand that sometimes this candy favor is sent to those who cannot make it to the wedding (for example, someone who lives to far to make the trip but otherwise would), or someone who the couple wishes to extend an invitation, but for some reason does not have enough accommodation to invite that person.  She actually received a package of wedding candy this week from her cousin back in China who just got married.

I'm really excited to have thought of a way to include my wonderful friends who live abroad in our wedding, even if they cannot be there in person.  I feel like this is also a great idea for anyone whose friends or family will not be able to make it to their wedding.

These are just some of the wonderful friendships from over the years who won't be able to come!  Miss them all!

Until next time,


  1. that's such a lovely tradition! this is something that Jon and I struggled with as well, since half our guests will have to come from the US (mostly from the East Coast, but some from California!) to the UK for our wedding. We're just stressing that, for people who are flying in from far away, their presence is our present and they absolutely do NOT need to spend more money on us!

  2. This is a such a nice tradition. We don't really have this problem, since our wedding is so small but if we were in the situation that so many people are in, with having family or friends live to far to visit, this would be such a good idea!


  3. This is the best idea ever! Several of my close friends cannot attend because they are currently living/traveling abroad...wish I had known about this sooner!

  4. I love this tradition! It can be difficult to negotiate that grey area between inviting guests you know can't come, and leaving them off the guest list altogether. What a sweet idea, and I love that you're incorporating a tradition from a culture that you were a part of. Thanks for sharing, and for linking up! xoxo

  5. Thanks for your comments, ladies! So glad you each stopped by!


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