First World Phenomenons | Summer Edition

Summertime is usually thought of as the time for sandals, free flowing dresses, skirts, sleeveless shirts, and shorts.  The time of year that is supposed to be more comfortable than winter.

The problem that we now have with summer is the tendency some evil humans have to over air-conditioned spaces.  It's almost like they thought, "Oh, summer is here, so let's bring back the winter in the indoors and waste electricity while we're at it."

Here are what I call the six phenomenons about first world summers that are just plain not the warm cozy feeling I should get when I think about summer.

The "Eat Warm Food and We'll Freeze You Out and Get More Customers" Phenomenon

Maybe its just me, but every restaurant is freezing in the summertime.  Wearing shorts?  Better eat at home tonight, because we definitely can't make it through 45 minutes in a restaurant.  Come back in the winter so you can sweat while you eat instead.  It must mean good business for the restaurants though, as they can get double the amount of customers per hour based on how quickly those freezing souls eat and leave.

The "Emergency Cardigan that is Only Needed for Summer" Phenomenon

Not sure where you'll be headed today?  Maybe the office, a department store, meeting someone for coffee, running errands to offices here and there, going to class, or whatever else you may encounter - well, be safe and always remember the emergency cardigan.  But you might as well forget the cardigan in the winter.  The building will be warm enough without sleeves.

The "If You Have the Emergency Cardigan, the Temperature is Fine" Phenomenon

We've all been there.  Normally you remember your emergency summer cardigan, and everywhere you bring it the temperature isn't all that cold.  You might wear it for safe keeping, but you could do without it.
But heaven forbid the day that the emergency cardigan is left at home by the door, because you know that hell froze over and every last building you go to will be minus 142 degrees inside.  

The "Sweat and Freeze" Phenomenon

source

We all know it's bad to have wet clothes in the winter because it is more likely to make you colder.  However, a little known fact is that this rule applies to summer, only in the reverse.  In the winter, you don't want to be wet and be outside.  But in the summer, it might just cause hypothermia if you are wet and inside.  Even worse, are the human's natural tendency to perspire in the heat.  Maybe humans will begin mutating to not sweat outside in the summers, in order to prevent the hypothermia as a result of air conditioned buildings.

The "My Housing Insulation is Too Good" Phenomenon 

Bringing you "The Hands-Free Blank-a-skirt"

When you're cold in your own home during the day because the insulation is so darn good that a little bit of air goes a long way.  A little too far, and you can't get rid of it.

The "It's Cool in Every Room Except My Bedroom" Phenomenon

I like to sleep cold.  Really, when I sleep is the ONLY time I want to be cold.  Ever.   Coincidentally, the only room where the air conditioner might as well not even exist is the bedroom.  Sure, I could sleep on the couch, but I'd rather complain about my hot bedroom like a true person with first world problems.   While it seems like a funny thing, it is almost disturbing how far off from the natural seasonal temperatures we often verge.  Making our homes and buildings comfortable is a great thing, however over-compensating extreme outside heat for extreme indoor frigidness is just unnecessary, and wasteful in my opinion. While I intended for this post to more than anything be humorous, I also do think it is a problem that more of us should think about.  However, if you're interested in another more light-hearted post I wrote a few years ago about why Oklahoma summers are too hot and how I baked cookies in my car, you can check out this post of old. Are you normally cold in buildings in the summer - especially offices, schools, and restaurants?  If you live in another country from the United States, how often do offices, apartments, malls, restaurants, and other types of buildings use air conditioning during the summers?