Saturday, November 9, 2013

Home Alone Isn't Fun!

So I'm pretty certain that last night was the first night that I have spent the night alone at my apartment since I've been married.  Somehow I'm surprised that we've literally spent every night with Tyler (I think) for nearly 6 months.  

I didn't like that he was gone. :(


The husband went camping with his dude friends, and so at home I stayed to do...well, I was going to catch up on blogs for the rest of November...then I texted my mom for a few hours about Christmas trees, what the cat was doing, life, and being disappointed in people and the way they are and treat others.  That sounds like it progressed quickly.  Heart to heart with mom means you don't have to lie like everything is hunky-dory.  Then I listened (a few times) to the new Lifehouse album that I didn't realize came out last year...and well, I just really didn't get much accomplished.  And I call them my favorite band...and I'm such a pathetic, pathetic fan.  I didn't even know they had a new CD for almost a year.  But now that I've found it, I love it. 


Here's the thing: I'm really not a fan of living alone.  I have only lived alone for one summer - the summer after my sophomore year at OU.  That was a nice break, as I'd gotten myself in a...well, complicated roommate situation the year before - to name the situation nicely.  But even after having an awful year dealing with conflicting personalities, interests, values, and messy floors...I realized that living alone is really just not my thing.  

The only reason I lived alone that summer is that I was staying in Norman to work, and so I was staying in a friend's apartment while she and her roommates were gone for the summer.  As a four bedroom apartment, I made it a habit to check behind the shower curtain of both bathrooms every time I came in from work.  I also checked the hallways.  Call me paranoid, but that is a great example of why I've only lived alone for 2 months in my entire life.  I did learn a lot of Chinese that summer, though.  What else was I supposed to do with my time...awkwardly hang out with the boy that lived two buildings away from me who I knew liked me who I was desperately trying to not like who I ended up liking anyway and marrying 3 years later?  Naww, I couldn't do that.

We did hang out one weekend when all our Oklahoma resident friends came back to Norman for the weekend!  Good memories!
It was a nice weekend of hanging out, and plotting a water gun and water balloon ambush against the boys, and these two sweet ladies asking me why I didn't like Tyler (yet) on our 2:00 am Taco Bell run.  Well...really I sort of liked him.  I was still in denial, but apparently all of our friends had already come to terms with the fact that we should have been in a relationship. haha!
Okay girls, you won.  We're married now, are you happy?!
We played ninja...look it up if you haven't heard of it.  I'm not in the picture because I always lost first.  And there's my unhealthily skinny husband on the left who ate ramen noodles and ran several miles a day all summer...he weighed less than me then! 
 Shame on you, hubs, for not taking better care of yourself!  :-[


Anyway.  Last night confirmed for me yet again...I don't like living/being alone.  Sure, it was just one night...but I really don't want to go to sleep if no one is here to help me in case nothing happens.  For no apparent reason, I feel the need to check the window, stay awake later, and keep more lights on. (Someone tell me this is normal...do you do this??)  Not only do I do those things, but its nights when I'm alone when I usually get to thinking.  I think about my life now, the past, the future and I just feel discouraged, confused, and frustrated.  It is easier to avoid those thoughts when I just stay busy, which is easier to do when the man of the house is in the house!


I think when we get down to it, I'm just thankful that I have a hubby who is home at night with me almost every night.  I'm also thankful that I haven't had to live alone for a significant period of time...I'm pretty sure I would get legitimately paranoid!





Do you consider the night by yourself a rare opportunity to do something you've been wanting to do, or does it just make you paranoid to turn the lights off for bed?  I kind of see it as both...last night was definitely quiet, but then I started missing my guy when I got sleepy.  


12 comments:

  1. Angel worked night shift for the first year we were married--and I detested it. I mean, of course I made the best of it and made an active choice NOT to be paranoid or make myself miserable, but it wasn't very fun. I didn't expect to spend so many of my newlywed nights alone--and I know I didn't sleep as much back then, I stayed up late reading a lot, because going to bed seemed very boring!! I've never lived on my own, and I know I'd never want to. If I was single I would probably live with my parents, seriously. I love being the "lady of the house" and in charge of my own home, but I don't think I would enjoy it much if I were the only person living here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would not like it if Tyler had to work nights. I was a little worried about it when he first started his job, but so far it seems like he just has to be on call at night. So its possible he'll have to leave and work at night, just not an every night occurrence. I definitely respect you ladies who've had to deal with the night shift - that wouldn't be fun or easy at all.

      And I agree...a big part of not getting paranoid is not allowing yourself to be paranoid. I'm not good at that!

      Delete
  2. Augh, I HATE "living alone" when Nate's gone overnight. It's really the worst! I've never truly lived alone and I'm incredibly thankful for that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I'm really thankful that I've never truly had to live by myself for months or years. And whether I liked him back then or not, I always knew I could call Tyler if I had a problem since he lived so close to where I was staying. haha

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. I'm just glad I'm not having to deal with alone weeks like you!

      Delete
  4. I really enjoy alone time and sometimes look forward to a quiet night :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I usually end up enjoying whatever time I have when Tyler has to work a late night, but it is hard for me to initially have a positive outlook about it! But you're right, alone nights are a lot easier to do things for yourself!

      Delete
  5. I'm with you! I'm good with being alone but I'd rather have my husband at home with me :) He's out of town for a couple days so I'm *trying* to get lots of blog stuff done while he's gone!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good luck getting your blogging stuff done! I was pretty unsuccessful the other night! ...oops!

      Delete
  6. I know what you mean! Just after we got married Malcolm needed to go away quite often and I didn't like it at all. Especially because it was school holidays and I was alone at home all day with nobody to talk to. Since moving though he's only been away once, and it was so strange being apart!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It really is a strange feeling! I'm glad Tyler isn't away often. Even if we don't generally do anything exciting on a day to day basis, it is just nice to have your best friend around.

      Delete

Copyright 2012-2014 Saxon Smith (Let's Drink Coffee, Darling). All rights reserved.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
UA-49062203-1